I attended KinkFest this weekend, and such a variety of interesting and noteworthy moments happened that I've decided to write a series of posts on it. This first post will be a bit of an outpouring, because in the afterglow of the experience I can't even remember some of the finer details. I'll save those for later. For now, my heart and my ( Read more... )

In an effort to combat the funk I'm in, I decided to dig into one of the boxes of memorabilia I keep on the tallest shelf of my closet this afternoon. Those boxes contain mostly items with positive associations, though there are a few, like the hospital wristband I wore for over 72 hours when I tried to commit suicide, that I keep because I don't ( Read more... )

Erica was the first girl I ever had a crush on. We met at school when I was thirteen; she was a year older than me, but we were in the same grade because I had skipped one. The high school we attended was a joke. Under the guise of being a student-focused charter school alternative to the overcrowded public high school in town, it was really ( Read more... )

After spending much of my life seeking love from others, and often finding whatever I received from them wanting, I have learned to judge much less harshly the forms of love which are offered to me.  Over the last several days I have been reviewing and re-reading things I wrote years ago, and am overwhelmed by the sheer degree to which my ( Read more... )

There is something to be said for old photographs, even if "old" means a lifetime ago, a decade ago, a year or two ago. It probably has a lot to do with my age, but as I was looking at some of my old photographs just now it was amazing to me to see how much I have changed in less than ten years. Me the day I turned 16, tears running down my face ( Read more... )

I can't sleep. I want to, very badly. I even lay for about 45 minutes, unmoving, eyes closed, deep breaths. But sleep never came. It's stupid.

Instead, this is what was happening in my head:

1. I wondered where Starbuck was, and whether or not he'd say yes if I invited him to dinner or lunch or something.  I wondered if Becca finally got him to cave ( Read more... )

The concept of monogamy is one which differs in both practice and definition depending on who you’re talking to. What it means to be monogamous with someone seems to be constantly changing. The safest route is probably to define such boundaries via conversation with your partner(s), though not everyone is mature enough in relationships to have ( Read more... )

Lately I have been feeling much more resigned to the fact that I will probably be alone for a good long while. I used to think that my next great love was probably just around the corner, and before I knew it I'd be in a more-than-pleasant relationship that not only was emotionally and intellectually stimulating, but also incredibly sexually ( Read more... )

My relationship with J was not the longest, but it was the most traumatic and influential. And he knows better than anyone just how much I loved him and hated him over the course of the time we belonged to each other. He is one of the few people whose kiss has literally made me want to melt into the floor, the only person I have ever cringed from ( Read more... )